Category Archives: Religion

3rd dating experience

So there was a third girl I met up with, lets call her Laura.  This girl presented as an intellectual and rationally minded person.  She was also Puerto Rican.  I dubbed her a “Skeptical Unicorn” for being both non-religious and Latina, which is something that seems rare.

Laura was cool and into all sorts of science-y things that I also enjoy.  Being Non-Religious is one of the qualities that is important to me.  However as I have discovered there is a difference between someone who is from mainstream america and is more or less passive about religion and some who who has to fight and make sacrifices for what they believe in.

The topic of politics came up and I said that I describe my beliefs as being liberal in nature but I also tend to not agree with people who describe their beliefs as being liberal.  I explained that so-called liberals often want to deny my experience and tell me what my experience is and who I am  She wanted an example.

So I gave for example my part Native American ethnicity. She immediately responded saying that my ethnicity “didn’t count” and that Native American Ancestry only “counts” if you have someone who is full blood 5 generations or less ago.  To me it seemed like she was doing exactly what I was talking about.

Later I gave the example of  my experience being raised in a cult and escaping fundamentalism.  She said that I was “privileged” and that despite being born into a fundamentalist dooms day cult and being robbed of identity and autonomy that I had never experienced oppression.

We didn’t seem to agree on a bunch of things.  Ironically, we did seem to agree and bond over our dislike of white female feminism though.  Laura also shared a story about how she went to Africa and had the experience of being viewed as a “White girl” rather than as her typical identity as a Latina.

I’m not sure how to explain it but I feel like somewhere in sharing her experience in Africa she seemed to get what I was talking about.  I hung out with Laura once or twice but I guess I just didn’t feel anything.  The chemistry wasn’t there or whatever.

Unconditional Positive Regard

Jehovah’s Witnesses are often judgmental and have a black and white view of the world. XJWs might carry on with these traits without knowing even it.  This will hamper their personal growth as well as their capacity to help others.  So let me introduce you to a concept in psychology called Unconditional Positive Regard.

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What is the value of life?

Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that if we obey their rules we will live forever.  Either by means of resurrection to heaven or to an earthly paradise.  They teach that when people we love die they aren’t really dead.  Instead, they are merely sleeping and we will see them again.  This belief helps soothe the existential dread that many people experience.  But what happens when you leave Jehovah’s Witnesses or other faith?  How can you view life and death?  Let’s take a moment and talk about life and its value.

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MAking Changes with Journaling

When I was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses I felt stuck. I wanted to achieve things in my life and I wasn’t able to. This led me to be very depressed. Now, this was partly because of the limiting rules of the Witnesses and the harsh consequences for not following them. However even after leaving the Witnesses I’ve felt stuck at times not sure how to make progress on the things I wanted. Both Witnesses and former Witnesses alike may feel helpless to change or improve their lives. I found that journaling can help, let me explain how.

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Learning To Not Be Passive Anymore

So let me tell you a story about learning about myself post fundamentalism.   This story involves a former coworker I will call Kathy.  Let me say that Kathy was a competent worker and generally, I did not have a problem working with Kathy.  However… there were a few, shall we say, incidents involving Kathy that helped me learn about myself.  I’m going to talk about one of them here. 

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